Life Happens!
My Life!! Well, years ago I thought, when I left home, that my life was something I would always choose for myself. Ha, NOT! As with many of you out there, life happens! I have it on family authority that I am like the Energizer bunny…I just keep going and going. Take a hit…move on. I don’t know why people say that. I honestly feel so lost sometimes. I don’t feel particularly brave or strong or self-confident! But apparently that is how I come across to others. I must be a better actor than I thought.
I am, at base, pretty insecure while, at the same time, certain in some of my abilities. I am a daughter, (though sometimes not very loving I feel), a wife (though not the best I’m sure), a mother (who likes to think she is has been a good one), and a grandmother (Okay, they are adorable), respiratory therapist and a teacher. I have worked since I was 15 years old. Many of you out there can say the same thing. I married young and started in the medical field by nineteen. No, I didn’t have to get married!! Lol! Well, actually I did. I mean, I married my high school sweetheart: he was a Dutch foreign exchange student I met as a senior in high school and he wanted to live in the US. We were going to marry anyway but.. we moved it up. We have been married almost 38 years now. Gag Gag, I know …..sticky sweet huh? Yeah but it has not always been Edam and tulips for sure! We have three children and now one grandson and twin granddaughters.
I often feel guilty when people tell me their stories because I have been lucky in many ways. However, as with others, I do have many things I would change if I went back to do it all over….Groundhog day style. Let’s see: stay with my piano lessons as a kid, go to school for music right away, move to a bigger city, follow through on opportunities that came up instead of letting them pass by. Yes, you may guess from this that I am musical. Well, I was as a kid and then life happened. My MOM, specifically! She was of the generation of ..”you need something to fall back on”. So, being the weak-kneed wimp that I am, I went to school to be a respiratory therapist. I started working right after graduating and lost myself for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, there were many, many happy times in there to be sure. Three beautiful babies! I don’t regret that in the least. But,looking back, I realize that, despite what people told me, I could have had that and be artistic!
SO, I had a little mid-life crisis. Ha, funny when I think about it. I thought I was completely sane but my husband thought I needed a psychiatrist. “You want to do what? Go back to school, work full-time nights, raise three teenagers, perform in shows and be a wife? You must be crazy.” Yup, that was a fact. But, I did it! Graduated in three years with a GPA of 3.95, earned extra money performing in dinner theater shows (awesome) and held my family together. Was it easy? Hell, NO! My mother was sure to remind me of that…You can’t do that, which, of course, made me want to prove her wrong. My kids pushed all my buttons but ultimately supported me. My husband continued to think I was crazy till I started getting straight A’ s and congratulations from others. Winning awards and show money helped convince him, too. I was finally getting somewhere.
So what happened….let’s see: Middle child goes rogue–Long story. My mother begins her descent into Dementia. The kids all move away…to the three corners of the country of course. AND SNOW, SNOW, SNOW (NW PA) So, we decided it was time to move south. I thought it would be Florida. Well, it ended up southwest instead. Somehow we ended up in Arizona. Funny, since my husband is uber-liberal Dutchman. Anyway, I found a job teaching music to kindergarten through 5th graders. What was I thinking? Anyway, no sooner had we moved down here and found a house, I had to move my mom here. Yes, she almost burned her house down. She fell asleep while cooking. The upside, my brothers finally believed me when I said she was having problems. Two months after arriving here, she is having open heart surgery and several months after that she broke her hip and needed surgery!
Wow, so much has happened over the last 6 years and all of it stressful. Even good stuff can be stressful. I wish I could say it was all good stuff. I know many of you out there feel the same way. I would like to tell you my stories and maybe hear about yours too. When my brothers and I get together we are fond of telling the old stories. My kids say they have heard them a millions times now. TOO BAD! Haha. Next blog post—growing up in PA!
Contact me at: taketimetolivelife@outlook.com