5 Tips To Survive Life’s Challenges
We all have events happen that change us or alter the direction of our lives. You can’t get through the stages without having ups and downs. Some challenge us to be better than we thought we could be and some just force us to survive and move on. So how do we do that?
Good question; One that I have struggled with a lot. My daughter once told me she just couldn’t understand how I could take hit after hit and still move on without giving up. My reply: we don’t have a choice! Well, we do but that is just to lay down and die. I am not willing to do that. Every day could be that day that things get better if we just hang in there. Does that make me a positive person? Not always. I have to work very hard to stay positive about things. Sometimes that means just hide my feelings, sometimes it means to plug away till I get what I want, sometimes I just walk (run) away for a bit and get a new perspective.
How does that look? I lived with a lot of negativity growing up. I felt determined that I wouldn’t become that person but it isn’t always easy. I recently read a passage by Lao Tzu, frequently thought to be the father of Chinese Taoism. He wrote commentary about the idea that we can overcome our challenging circumstances by understanding them and then using that to forge a new way forward. It specifically addresses how our minds and actions affect our lives and I can totally understand it.
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words: they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your character: it becomes your destiny.
By Lao Tzu
So after pondering my experiences, here is what I came up with that works for me.
1. Be willing to accept what you have no control over and be willing to move on. Sometimes you have a take a step backward to move forward.
An example for me was a recent job loss. I had no control over the situation, and I wasn’t prepared for it. I loved the work but things happened and I needed to deal with it. It forced me to move in a different direction in my career. I have been working as a music teacher for 14 years and I used the time on unemployment to transfer my old respiratory therapy license to my new state. I started back into my old career to make ends meet. The benefit I discovered was that I could work less hours and choose my own shifts to work. This allows me to be more flexible and time to work on my music and writing.
2. Set new goals for your new circumstances and actively work every day at achieving them.
Life changes direction like the wind and you need to be willing to reflect and take new risks. Don’t ever give up on something you really want–even if you have to come at it from a different direction or angle. Always strive.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!
Well, this one is hard for me. I always have tried to “buck up” and deal with my own problems but I have found we all need to have someone to listen to us or advise us. We don’t always have to take the advice but sometimes others see things from a different perspective. Be willing to listen to their thoughts and ponder their point of view. Hold on to your family, friends, and loved ones. They are your rock and are often the most supportive. This is where I need to work on the control aspect of Lao Tzu. I can’t control life but I can surround myself with people who love me as much as I love them.
4. Always find an outlet for yourself.
You need to do something for yourself to survive challenges. People often become despondent when they feel there is nothing positive to live for. Find that outlet and nurture it. Work at it in some way every day even if just for a few minutes.
5. Work hard to be positive.
Sound so simple, right? Maybe, but it is not. Ways to grow your positivity:
Smile! Or laugh, it has been proven to make you feel better.
Make sure you have people that are positive around you. Negativity encourages more negativity.
Be very grateful for what you have and try always to do kind things for others. Pay it forward works!
Understand that you need to have at least two or three positive thoughts for every negative one. Maybe even five! Lol! Try to find that balance.
Don’t give up!
Over the last 10 years I have been challenged with a chronically ill daughter, job/careers changes, moving to a new state, selling and buying a new house, a sick mother and her loss, and helping to raise a young grandchild but I have also gained many new amazing friends, music/theater opportunites, better weather, grandchildren, and a new appreciation for what I do have. Life never goes by without challenges. This is how we learn to grow as human beings. Embrace change.