Things I Learned From My Mother
Mothers are funny. We love them, hate them, respect them and get embarrassed by them… sometimes all at the same time. We learn to love from their caring for us. We fear disappointing them. We struggle to find our own voice separate from them and all this knowing that they truly want the best for us. We may not agree with them or even like them at different times in our lives…but one thing is certain–they love us and it is hard to lose them. I lost Mom for years in slow stages. She was not the person I grew up with, who tended my needs or drove me crazy with her opinions, demands, or needs. However, I have come to realize she was always there in my life to help when she could. She may not have agreed with me (and let me know that frequently) but I never doubted that she loved me. Even when she was yelling at me and calling me names in her dementia, I knew that she loved and needed me. I didn’t always like her way of thinking or opinions but that was her upbringing that molded her into who she was. She loved us, worked long hours, often in pain, to support us, sewed endless costumes for me, and most of all was so very proud of all us for our ability to do the things she couldn’t do. She treasured each of our accomplishments, never begrudged us them but secretly wished she could have had her own dreams come true. Frequently, she wasn’t always positive about what we chose to do or even tried to tell us we couldn’t do them but when we stubbornly succeeded she gave us all the credit. She was truly surprised by our ability to make things happen even after our failures. We learned to be stubborn and keep moving on no matter how often we get knocked down. That was a precious lesson. So now, after passing on to her next phase, I reminisce about the things I learned from her. Enjoy!
- You can not ride a tricycle on broken sidewalks without getting a broken nose!
- You may not have dessert until you eat your vegetables (and don’t try hiding them in your mashed potatoes or napkin)
- It is not a good idea to let a swing hit your little brothers’ head unless you want to be reminded of it every for the rest of your life.
- It is probably not good to hide a baby kitten in your dresser drawer and expect her not to find it.
- It is not good to tell her you are going to run away and then be surprised when she helps you pack and watches you walk to the neighbors house, waving goodbye the whole. (you didn’t know then she had called ahead to prepare them and check on you)
- We learned to be afraid of anything she could quickly get her hands on for fear of a spanking–hair brush, wooden spoon, shoe–anything was possible.
- We learned to “read up” (pronounced reddup) the house, dishes, table or anything that needed cleaned up.
- We learned to never wear underwear with holes in case of being in an accident.
- We learned to not trust a woman who gives you a glass of milk when your stomach hurts and tells you it will make you feel better….. It will but not in a nice way.
- We learned to not play with your baby brother by rolling him off the top of the couch onto the cushions. Consequences are a pain!
- I learned how to get back into a car after a car accident and knowing she trusted me to do it.
- We learned to run not across with roof being chased by your brother and expect not to get punished
- I learned to not buy clothes without my kids along. (generational tastes are so different)
- We learned how to shuck elderberries and any number of other fruits and vegetable for canning–EVERY YEAR–and then never, ever do it as an adult.
- We learned to call rubber bands –gumbands, Aluminum foil–tin foil, and anything she couldn’t find the name a thing-a-ma-jig or what-u-call-it.
- We learned to hate Saturday mornings because we couldn’t watch cartoons till we did our chores.
- I leared to love reading, jazz music, and chair dancing Mom’s version–sit in a chair and dance from the waist up.
- We learned you could get a hug anytime
- I learned how to bake really amazing cookies
- We learned the meaning of the saying “I look like the wreck of the Hesperus”.
- We learned how make” hunters stew” from anything we could find in the cupboard
- I learned how to sew even though I don’t do it very much.
- And Yes, I learned there is a brake pedal on the right front passenger side. I used it many times myself as my kids grew.
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